Problems With Going Back To Creche Groups

[Cherub]

Our two went back to creche last week on half days until further notice. The little one is fine but the 3-year-old has been getting very upset on some mornings. Thursday morning she bawled before leaving the house, when in the car to the creche and when we got out. Friday morning she didn't want to leave the house and started crying when we pulled up outside it. She is generally fine once she gets in and settled (there were two instances last week where she got upset while in there) but its really hard to see her so upset when dropping her off.

Has anyone got any tips to try and make it a bit easier for her? We have tried changing the subject in the morning eg she would say "we aren't going to the creche" so we would basically ignore her question and try to distract her with breakfast, toys etc. We have been talking about her teachers and classmates and showing her photos of her playing with the other kids reminding her of the fun she had etc and we will keep doing that but any other suggestions would be welcome.

 

[Janey]

Actually, I wouldn't really distract. I would try saying well we are today, but we will be coming to pick you up after lunch, (or whenever). Maybe say I know you don't really want to, but it won't be so bad or something. And that is it, don't talk about it anymore, do a cheery goodbye when you drop her off. I just think it is better to acknowledge that is how she feels because she isn't stupid at the end of the day, she knows she is going.

Also what might help is do a little chart of her week, and mark the creche days with a picture of her teacher or something, and the home days with your pictures, or the garden or something -then each night, have a look and chat about what is tomorrow, or if it works better, each morning let her move a peg on to the correct day and chat with what today is.

I feel for you though, it has been so hard on the kids, their worlds are upside down. My youngest has had a few wobbly moments too in the last couple of weeks. And your girl is just at the age where she is realising the days are different and different things happen each day, so the visual might help her to know what is happening each day.

Obviously, talk to creche staff about how she is when she is in there too, and anything that might be happening, just to check.

 

[Soffie]

I would agree don't change the subject or distract - it's making things easier for you guys but not validating her feelings or making her feel heard.

I would give a little run through eg we're having breakfast then mummy/daddy will bring you to creche, mummy and daddy are going to do some work (or whatever) and then mummy/daddy will collect you after you've had your lunch or whatever time it is so she knows.

When she gets upset I would say I know you're sad to go to creche today I understand that it's hard to get used to not being at home again. It works really well as they feel like you understand them, they feel heard and you are giving them the vocabulary they need themselves to explain how they're feeling.

You could find yourselves doing the little run through 10 times but kids love repetition and love understanding what is going to happen when.

Good luck, it's so hard when they're upset

 

[hannah]

Yeah I have to say I agree with the above, it's incredibly frustrating for a child to feel they are not being heard or understood.

Instead of dismissing her feelings, engage in conversation about what her concerns are and how you might be able to address them. e.g. would it help if she brought in a favourite toy from home (if creche allows it, some won't at the moment) or even a family photo?

Would it help to plan out the day so he has something in the afternoon to look forward to after creche, e.g. a trip to the playground or a favourite dinner? Some kids just really crave routine and certainty about what to expect, she's gotten used to the home routine and maybe she just needs reassurance about what to expect with the new routine.

Also maybe there is concern about changes in the creche, due to covid, a new layout, or the staff wearing PPE? Or even general anxiety about covid? If this is the case, there are social stories available online to help young children understand.

Hope she settles back soon!

 

[Cherub]

Thanks guys.

She has moved to a new room since she was last in it so that's likely playing into her anxiety a lot. When she woke this morning the first thing she said was she didn't want to go but we got dressed, had a chat, had breakfast and when she brought it up I just told her she would go for a little while and that I would be collecting her soon.

There were no tears and when we got there, she was a little bit hesitant but the two teachers in her class are lovely and were both waiting at the door to greet her and fuss over her so all was fine today.

Could simply be just a case of her needing a bit more adjustment time.

 

[Janey]

Ah lovely, maybe that is it then. It's a big change for them all around. Hopefully she will settle a bit better now.